You wake up. You cheated.

Dreaming about your ex, are you still in love?

Was your ex your first true love?

Expert opinion seems to be that dreaming of your ex if she was your first love, is about a relationship that created that feeling. The one that makes us all go starry eyed and ga ga for everything in the world. That lighter than air feeling that makes you feel so happy is going to be your first true love.

When you dream of them, you are actually dreaming of that feeling, that return to being so incredibly content. Life was simpler in that first love relationship, who doesn’t miss those days?

Is your ex the first true love?
Was your ex different from your current love

Was your ex different from your current love?

Chances are, and you already know this, there are parts of her that you miss. Not the time she was ignoring you for a week as you forgot her favourite colour. Or the time when she stole money from you, or cheated on you, or stole money to cheat on you.

Yeah, not that, you don’t miss that. But you do miss how free she was, or how great she was in bed, or how passionate she was about you, or how jealous she got that made you feel she WANTED you.

Dreaming is just Dreaming

But do you want the old days back?

Is it cheating to be dreaming of your ex?

Snippets of this old life together with snippets of your new life smashing together in a dream. The heart wants what the heart wants and that is all there is to it. Why wouldn’t we want the best of all worlds, a hybrid of the greatest parts of each person you loved.

Is it cheating to dream of your ex?
You don't fall out of love with your ex

You don’t fall out of love

The expertise in dreamland say it is supposed to represent something that person represented, rather than the person itself. I don’t believe it is possible to fall out of love, I think this a misconception that there is an opposite of everything. I think falling in love is more like mixing two colours in a paint tin, once it is mixed it is impossible to return it to its original state. The mixed output is what you are left with. Even if you split up you still love her, you always will. I think thats normal.

Unfinished Business

Going back to sort it

Sour notes could be why you are dreaming of your ex..

Most relationships that end, end up in a bad place (and some that are still going). So when you two broke up, it is pretty likely there were things unsaid, grievances that you took with you, maybe even a whole monologue you needed to say but didn’t.

So the dream where you cheated may have involved some discussion, some things said, some things being finalised (just before you hopped in to bed with her) or maybe during….

Sour notes
Do I tell my partner about dreaming of my ex?

Do I tell my partner?

I think like little white lies, you can be too honest and even if you did confess, what is your partner going to make of some jumbled up sex dream? She might laugh it off or she might read a whole lot in to it. Either way, there is nothing good or productive to come out of it so probably best to let sleeping dogs lie on this one.

Its OK

Really….

Calming Down

Ok, so you didn’t do anything wrong, and maybe it was your brain just putting things in to order. So maybe it is a good thing? The sex could have been your brain going back to the good part of the relationship, a show of love after everything was sorted. So it is just part of your mental health then….maybe

Calming down
Calming down
Don't phone your ex

It feels so real

When you wake, the dream feels so real you actually wake with the emotion. Remember it is just a dream and it will fade. Let it.

Get on with your day and don’t overthink it. If it keeps coming back in to your mind, remind yourself that it was a weird dream, it served a purpose and don’t attempt to read anything huge in to it.

If it keeps happening, over and over again, it might just be taking a little longer to get the message, but don’t be tempted when you are full of jolly juice to text her. It won’t help and she didn’t have the same dream.

Remember that. Remember why you split up. Remember why your new relationship is right. And put your phone down.

 

 

Magic only lasts once

Thats where the dreaming comes in I think, just as you will always love her, you will always miss that special thing you two had. You will appreciate different things with your new partner but that special thing that your heart loved is the bit that replays in your dream.

The good bits, like memories, where we remove 99% of the fluff and have that magical 1% that made it oh so special.

Having been in relationships where we split up, got back together (rinse and repeat) I can say from experience the magic never comes back no matter how many times you try things anew.

The magic was a memory and you cannot re-create it, like a matchstick, once it has been lit and extinguished it cannot be re-lit. You need a new match. It really is that simple.

Magic only lasts once
Magic was a memory